day 134 _ night
so we were far from each other hmm 14 hours. Its just like nothing compare to when you have to work all week if there were some big events they have at the casino, right? Just because I always listen to wat u told me before : looking forward. I am looking forward and I don’t know when will the next time you come and pick me up as usual? I am joking. I know thats not wat you mean.
I just realize that u found my blog, the place I can write down watever I feel and I want. You can see almost every last posts I wrote is for you. We went through 134 days together, and I’m pretty sure that is one of the happiest times in my life I’ve ever had. I’ve learned sooo many new things, how to be safe (like “dont talk to stranger”), better English (sssssssssssslice), how to stay cool (I’m trying tho), how to take a car apart, … hahaha. I’ve learned more about myself, be nicer to people around me, find out wat I need to do for my future, how to have more fun by myself, and how to love you.
I didn’t have a chance to say “I love you” when we were at the airport. I’m afraid. You know that I can cry ever before I start talking. I’m afraid that I will cry more and more if I say it out loud. And I’m afraid that you wouldn’t say “I love you too” back to me.
I spent hours and hours on the airplane remembering about wat happened between us since the day I started talking to you, the first night I slept with you, I woke up and had a chance to look at you very very close and I talked to myself “man! close ur eyes or u will fall for this guy immediately”. I couldn’t close my eyes. Or when we were at Golden Garden, I looked deeply in ur eyes and my mind start sinking, sinking in it. Or, when you were drunk and say “Dang! this girl is amazing”.. A lot of moments I can never forget and when I sit down and remember, its just like watching an HD movie. Amazingly it did make me laugh, sometimes out loud, because how silly and how great I (and you too) could be.
And I just started leaking when I remember I was laying on your chest, and it was shaking, just a lil bit, lightly. I did feel that, and I tried not to look at ur face cause I know you dont want me to either.
I cannot describe how important you are to me. You can say your not worth to cry for but my feelings for u and every single things u did to me really are.
I will never forget what we have shared together. Those moments. Those memories. Those bittersweetness.
I will never forget your hugs and kisses.
I will never forget your eyes, your nose, your mouth, your everything.
This might be the last post for our relationship, but not the last one have you in it. the next post should be about a first time when I’m in Texas and saying goodbye to everyone. It’s late but better do it than leaving without saying nothing to anyone else right?
I want to say a lot more to you here but when I start typing, it’s just gone. Maybe it runs from my brain to my heart and hides there. It’s also because you know me well so I don’t need to 🙂
In your days ahead, please lead to a happy life, dear ! I’ll try to do the same. Remember I’d like to look at you when you are with your family. Because that’s the real you.
I love you my baby boiii
p/s: Hope that some day, I can type “…day 135”